So, my lovely fiancé and I have been engaged for almost two years now, which means we are…halfway to the wedding. Yep, it’s a long engagement. A looooong engagement. It’s not for financial reasons (well, slightly, but not really), and it’s definitely not because we’re not actually ready to get married (why do people do that, I wonder). It’s purely because of our student-y circumstances and because, old fashioned girl that I am, I don’t want to be married to someone I don’t actually live with. I know, I’m weird.
Anyway, I’m loving being engaged. I would love to be able to get married next year, but we won’t be able to live together until at least next June and even then, it very much depends on where I choose to study my teaching degree. So, I’ve decided that I’m going to absolutely glory in it. We’re enjoying chatting about the wedding, looking at inspiration, gathering awesomely nerdy and different little bits and pieces. It’s actually not stressful and it’s really kind of…fun?! Blah blah blah, long story short, I really don’t mind my long engagement.
However, other people, apparently, do.
G and I went to a wedding open day this weekend. It was at a castle, which was pretty but way too ostentatious for the likes of us. It wasn’t a cool, witchy, medieval-type castle, all imposing battlements and looming (now THAT would be our thing) but more a fancy, stately home kind of castle. Basically, it was shiny, expensive, and up its own proverbial. We had fun anyway, but it’s not a potential venue.
We were heading away from the castle towards the car at the end of the day when another couple, probably in their thirties, walked past - and I heard the woman say:
“I heard one woman say they weren’t getting married until 2015…!”
…in tones of withering, incredulous scorn. They laughed the hearty laugh of the wealthy, self-confident halfwit, and continued up the path, bleating further (thankfully inaudible) comments about the foolhardiness of this silly young woman with her silly long engagement.
That woman was ME.
I was FUMING.
How dare this moneyed, horse-faced woman and her braying idiot of a husband mock our decisions? How dare she take our giddy excitement over the thought of finally getting to our long-awaited day, and turn it into something foolish? I would never have dreamt of doing anything like that to her…
For us, our wedding day is a day we have already been looking forward to for a long time, and by the time it rolls around it will probably have felt like forever. We are both young, our biological clocks are not even at whispering point, we’re not under any pressure from anyone to get married. We want to get married purely for our own reasons - because we love each other, because we’re best friends, because we make a cracking team and we can’t believe our luck and we want all the people we love to share that with us.
This nasty, sour little woman? She probably wants children, like, five years ago, and she and Rupert Tarquin St John McTallyflaps have been together for SEVEN YEARS and I’m not getting any bloody YOUNGER Rupert and this is definitely an ultimatum!, I want princess cut on platinum please and yes, of COURSE the one with little sapphires all around it…
In short, don’t fucking judge us and our choices unless you’re prepared for me to judge yours. Harshly.